Sad State – Advertising Industry

This is one example of how music and broadcast production is deteriorated by a slow take-over by technology savvy (but otherwise inept) “advertising and media” talent.

The Advertising industry is going to crap…for what I think are obvious reasons.

Maybe you’ll agree, maybe you won’t, but I happen to think the actual production solicitation I just received is absolutely priceless (blow off your holiday weekend to present an idiot who knows nothing about music your speculative rendition of their crappy lyrics…for scrutiny by a “huge” ny agency):

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[GREETING OMITTED]

Below is a special opportunity that we wanted to give you a heads up about. Just got the word about this project today, and need the music by 6:00 PM PDT on Saturday July 2nd, 2011. You can find this listing [COMPANY INFO OMITTED].

HUGE NY Ad Agency needs a SINGER/SONGWRITER SONG for a national NUTRITION/HEALTH BRAND’s TV COMMERCIAL. It’s estimated that this gig will pay $15-$25,000 up front, but the back will bring in more dollars–LOTS of national airplay coming down the pike. This is going to be a little complicated so read VERY carefully!

The TV spot features a male/female duet singing about taking your nutrition to the next level. It’s starts with a guy, playing guitar and he begins singing at 3 seconds into the spot. Ten seconds into the spot, he’s joined by a young woman who sings background vocals and plays tambourine. She becomes a one-woman band as she begins to ALSO play a kick drum and a keyboard–added in that order, and introduced one at a time.

All this needs to take place in 30 SECONDS, while they sing the lyrics below! The good news is that this is a DEMO, and the agency folks know the lyrics they’ve been handed by their client are on the fat side. Your job is to keep the CRITICAL parts of the lyric in tact, while cutting SOME fat to bring this song in at exactly 30 seconds. You can trim a “yeah, yeah, yeah” down to just one “yeah,” etc., but you MUST keep “Anthem” and “Go Nutrients” and as much of the original concept as possible and MOST of the lyric in tact. Quoting the Head Creative guy at the agency: “Write a great SONG with as much of the client’s lyrics as possible.” Easy, breezy, nothing to it, and bring it all home in 30 seconds!

Musically, this SONG needs to be UPTEMPO, HIP and FUN, and in a Jason Mraz or Bruno Mars-like style of putting (vocal) doubles or triplets on top of half notes. That could give it a cool, fun, funky feel while helping you get most of the lyrics nailed in 30 seconds. Melodically, your song needs to sound like a HIT with a KILLER HOOK–it needs to be infectious, memorable and singable.

This product will likely generate a series of TV spots, so nailing THIS one COULD get you to the front of the line for others. If your DEMO is chosen to be presented to the agency and client, you’ll need to be able to make minor changes (if needed) on Monday, July 4^th so the final version can be presented on Tuesday morning. If you’re not fully available Sunday (dinner time) through Monday (dinner time), please DO NOT submit for this listing! Welcome to the intensely fast-paced, whacky world of music for advertising!

Lyrics: 

You take a multivitamin every day

But you want to add a little something (hey hey hey)

So you reach for new [OMITTED] from [OMITTED]

Can I get a funky beat on the bass drum

Take Omega 3 to help your heart

Helps your eyes and brain too…so state of the art

Probiotic for when your system feels out of whack.

Immunity? No problemo! And support that digestive tract. (Uh-huh.)

Fruit & Veggie has antioxidants galore!

Will make you glow for the one you adore. (Grrrrr)

Get on up, throw your hands in the air.

Take your nutrition next level, Start a love affair!! (Yeah yeah yeah.)

Broadcast Quality is needed, even though they may ultimately use NY session singers for the vocals. You must own or control 100% of the Master and Composition rights. If you are chosen, the AD AGENCY will contact you DIRECTLY. The agency is not sure at this time if this will be a Work for Hire deal or exactly what form the deal structure will ultimately take. Bottom line, it will certainly be in line with whatever the Industry Standard would be in a situation like this. This is a HUGE agency, and they’re not in the habit of risking their reputation by cheating musicians–it’s not like they’re a record label – LOL!! Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics.  All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS. NO CRITIQUES FROM [OMITTED]. Submissions must be received no later than SATURDAY, JULY 2nd, 2011 at 6:00 pm (PDT). [COMPANY OMITTED]

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NOTE: I’m still laughing…and somebody is gonna get $25k to produce this piece of crap.  A “HUGE” NY agency is actually charging money for this (and I could probably do a self-perpetuating national campaign for your business for what this one spot is costing to have customers laugh at a product and an artist).  Sad state of affairs indeed.

Just thought it was worth sharing.